Lessons from a Father: Lesson 1

5 Lessons from a Father

By Hope A. Bevilhymer

  On Tuesday 2/18/2014 would have been my Fathers 59th Birthday. Unfortunately there will be no Birthday Cake, no Birthday Wishes, no Hey Dad I Love You and no Spending Time with you.  He left this earth a couple years back and today I have chosen to remember him.  Remember all the things that he taught me.  I am one of the fortunate individuals that knew without a shadow of a doubt he loved me. As I think of him on this day I think back too the lessons he has taught me. Over the next several weeks I will be posting the 5 Lessons I learned from my Father. I think if my Father was standing in front of me today what he might say to me...

REMEMBER THE 5

LESSON NUMBER 1: REMEMBER THE 5

 This is a lesson he instilled in me during my early teens.  I am a believer in people.  No matter their past, present or future. I believe each individual has their own light about them.  I seek the good in people, with this I give it my all not to give up on people.  This can be both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because I am that one person you can always count on.  No matter how you have treated me or the choices you have made in your own life, I don't give up on anyone.  It can be a curse as well. Because of my choice to look for the good and light in everyone, no matter what. Sometimes I let people get the better of me and I'd arrive home from a hard day. Here I was watering my face and sniffling. ( I call crying watering my face instead of crying because technically that is what your doing is watering your face.)  My dad witnessed this several times he proceeded to put his hand up and told me to REMEMBER THE 5.  I looked at him puzzled not know what he was meaning so I did what any sensible kid would do and slapped his hand to give him 5 and said "Right on Dad."  He then said no I want you to REMEMBER THE 5.  This is how many people you can count at one time on your hand that loves you unconditionally.  It can be family members, close friends, and whomever you would like to put on this hand.  He then said these are the people who will see your good, bad, ugly, happy, sad and whatever emotion you are having and will love you just the same.  No conditions, just straight up Unconditional LOVE.  These individuals are your foundation.  They are the ones who hold you a float, provide you strength and encouragement daily.  He told me everyone else is the bricks that make up the building.  You can build this building however you choose.  Some bricks are so precious and rare that you guard them with your life. The thing he told me about this building and the other individuals that are in my life.  Is at times others will get the better of you and you will feel sorrow.  He said the nice thing about this building is if you don't like the bricks you can rearrange it until it is what you desire.  He let me know that I didn't need to water my face as long as my foundation was solid.  He said REMEMBER THE 5. 
As I grew up my heart would sometimes feel heavy about how others had treated me.  He would just look at me and raise his hand and give me the 5.  I would return by saying I know stop sobbing it has nothing to do with the 5. Almost every time he did that it would lift the weight of the burden off of me.  This lesson taught me that we do have individuals around us that are our strong foundation. If things are not quite what you expected, then change it up and see what the new look adds to your structure. 

Big Old Fat Label

BIG OLD FAT LABELS

By Hope A. Bevilhymer

     I was born in 1976.  When it was time for me to join this earth I was slapped with big old fat label. "Disabled".  It was branded on my forehead for life.  Being born with disability in the late 70's you were considered an outcast in society.  People with disabilities were not seen in public.  It was taboo or not talked about.  People during that era were shunned in public and looked at differently by mankind.  

     It was not until the early 90's that the Americans with Disability Act (ADA) was passed.  This was put into effect and it prohibits discrimination and ensures equal opportunity for persons with disabilities in employment, State and local government services, public accommodations, commercial facilities, and transportation. Society was slow to come around.  People were still not accepting of individuals with disabilities.  Only in the last 5-7 years has it become widely accepted and more people are venturing out in the community with disabilities.  

     Throughout my lifetime I was called CRIPPLED, FRANKENSTEIN, GIMP, RETARD, RIDICULED and for some reason PICKED ON, because I was different.  I often wondered why people were so mean to me.  Then it came to me one day.  I was labeled... I was branded and it read "DISABLED".  Because of that I was automatically different.  In school sports I was picked last or not picked at all.  I faced daily name calling from somebody in the world who felt they need to let me know I was disabled.  I ended up having 30 surgeries to fix my Club Foot and eventually chose to have it amputated.  Now the label is even bigger and more prominent. 

     I did not let that hold me back.  I used it to my benefit.  My favorite words from someone is you "CAN'T"do something.  I always respond by saying I surely CAN and watch me do this.  I used the mocking and degrading remarks to fuel my drive to prove I was worth society's time. I don't recommend you go out and call people names.  Not everyone can take the harshness from someone calling them names and channel it into something positive. I do have a disability, but I have never let the labels that society put on me diminish who I am as a person.  I have assisted people throughout the globe... I am a Motivational/Inspirational Speaker...I am the Volvo For Life Award Winner... I am an avid sports enthusiast... The list could go on.

     So do us all a favor and loose the "LABELS". I touched briefly on disabilities, but there are many more labels that others may experience: Different Races, Different Sexual Preferences, Different Religious Beliefs and so many more.  That is what this human experience is all about is being different.  If we were not different and we were all the same then it would be a boring... boring world we live in.  I do not hold anybody liable for the name calling and all the other stuff.  I know with most people they fear what they do not know.