IN THIS PRESENT MOMENT- By Hope A. Bevilhymer

" The present moment is the only moment available to us and it is the door to all other moments." - Thich Nhat Hanh

Take a moment and read the quote one more time. The only moments we have are the present moment. We are not experiencing our past.  The past is defined as gone by in time and no longer existing. We learn lessons from our past so that we don't repeat them. We develop emotions from our past from experiences both positive and negative. Too often we let the past dictate our lives. We have relinquished power to our past and allow it to be present. It takes a great deal of determination and fire within for us to not let the past hold us down in our present moment. Our future hasn't happened yet. Future is described as coming after the present time.  We stress about the future events. Some of these events are out of our control and some of the events we can prevent. It's up to us to figure out what is relevant at the present moment to open the doors for all moments. Someone once told me that they can tell that I look at life  with a sparkle in my eye.  I decided to be present in the moment that I am experiencing at that time. Because all moments will be made into memories. They will become your past. How do you stay present in the moment and not let your past or future have power over you.  It takes a little concentration on your behalf.  I made a decision long ago to be present right here right now.  Anything I am doing I am giving it a 100% I drop all my outside blunders to the waste side and make myself present in the moment that I am experiencing.  For example I play sledge hockey for the USA Women's Team. Every time I enter the ice rink I make a conscious effort to be present in all that I am there to do. If I am not in the present moment then my performance suffers because of it.  I have let outside things out of my control dictate what is in my mind.  I am there to do a job on the ice and that is to be the best damn goaltender.  I apply this to all aspects of my life including relationships with others. This includes friendship, family, co-workers, complete strangers and lovers. How many people can you think in your life that you are not present with them when you are around them. They are in the room with you. You are spending time with them, but you are thinking of everything that happened yesterday or 6 years ago. It could be the opposite end of the spectrum and you are thinking about the future.  Stressing about events that have not happened and may never happen.  You choose to not be present in the moment with this person. You are missing out on possible opportunities to open more doors to all the other moments. As this person sees you are not present or engaging in them they may never open another door for new moments.  I encourage all of you to take a moment today and reflect on how present are you in everyone around you and everything you do in your life.  Are you experiencing this moment because we technically are not guaranteed one more second here on this earth. We are only present for the one we are in. Are you living in time that has past and you cannot regain or time that has not existed yet. If you think about that sentence if you are living in the past or future you will not know what is going on right now. Take a moment and try being present in all that you do. I know that I will. When I lay my head down at night I can sleep knowing I have given my all for the day and that was enough. As the sunrises a new day I know I have another opportunity to experience this thing called life and I will choose to be present in all I do. So that the doors can open for more moments.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM CHOPPING OFF MY LEG

  

It has been 13 years since the last time I walked on my own two legs.  It was June 26, 2002 when I chose to have my right leg amputated below the knee.  I was born with a birth defect called clubfeet.  I had to undergo 29 surgeries before I was 25 to fix the deformity.  My best option was to have it amputated.  As I took my last walk on my leg before the surgery, it was bitter sweet.  I was scared to death because I was about to make a decision that was non reversible, but at the same time I was excited to see what the future had in store for me.  As I awoke after the surgery I sat up and immediately reached for my nonexistent leg.  It was done and now this adventure was beginning.  Throughout the years I have been able to grow and expand as human being.  These are some of the lessons I have learned with chopping off my leg.

LESSON NUMBER #1: THE BODY IS RESILIENT...

I am a strong believer in the ability to withstand a pain threshold only if you are able to silence your mind.  No it does not make the physical pain completely diminish, but it does elevate the really bad pain that one is going through.  I was scheduled to be in the hospital for 14 days.  The first couple days there was really no pain at all.  I had so much medication going through my IV’s that I really cannot remember it being horrible.  By the 3^rd day the pain started.  It felt like a really bad dull bone ache.  That night it was rough I remember sitting in my bed and the pain was becoming unbearable the tears started to form.  Then I used a trick that I developed while growing up in the hospital.  The trick is this:  Think of Something Else.  Take your mind completely out of the current situation.  Think of your favorite place to visit, your favorite person (this one works really well), your favorite memory or anything that will just remove your mind from the pain and or the situation. You will be amazed how it elevates some of the pain.

I slowly request less and less medication as the days passed.  It was on the 5^th day my doctor entered my room and asked if I wanted to go home.  I didn’t hesitate in requesting to be released.  When arriving home it was not easy sailing.  I was adjusting to not having a leg so I would stand up often and forget there was no leg and go crashing to the floor.  The pain was pretty horrible they had just amputated a leg so it was to be expected.  There would be nights the pain was so bad that I would be sweating and unable to get any sleep.  I thought it would never end, but then it did.  My body had healed itself and I had made it.  Over the years there has been many of times where I had thought what was I thinking in doing this.  From pressure sores, blisters and being completely sore from walking a prosthetic I thought of just giving up.  The thing that kept me going is the knowledge of how resilient we truly are simply if we allow ourselves too.

LESSON NUMBER #2 OPTIMISIM IS KEY TO THE HEALING PROCESS

My positive attitude has made this a whole lot easier to get through.  Hours before the amputation they have you sign your leg with a marker so that the doctor doesn’t accidentally take the wrong one.  I was supposed to just initial the leg.  As I picked up the marker I took it and drew dotted lines all the way around it and wrote in big bold letters “Cut on the dotted line,”  I knew that when I entered the OR room that I needed to have a good outlook on this.  That I need to look for the best in this situation.  If not I was going to be doomed. I decided to never feel sorry for myself and to not feel regret for the decision I had made.  I had to make the best of it. There was no other option for me.

I was about ready to leave the hospital and I was sitting in the hall in the wheelchair waiting for the final paper work.  I could hear crying and a girl saying to someone my life is over I cannot go on anymore. She continued to cry and I heard a ladies voice trying to console whomever was crying.  I looked over at the room just across the hall from me.  There was a young girl probably around 16 years old laying in the hospital bed crying and there was an older lady standing next to her bed.  The young girl had her arm amputated.  This went on for a bit as the lady tried to make it better and the young girl was saying how her life was over.  I decided to approach them.  I asked to enter the room and both of them said okay.  As I entered I could see the young girl looking at me with my leg missing.  I introduced myself and it was a girl and her mother.  The girl had been in a horrible accident and they had to amputate her arm just below the elbow.  I told the young girl that I had heard her crying and I was wondering if she was okay.  She started to cry and then proceeded to tell me her life was over and there was nothing she was going to be able to do with an amputated arm.  I stopped her before she could go any further.  I said to her that your life is not over and she was about to go on amazing venture with this.  I said you have one thing going for you right now and the rest of it is just minor hiccups in the road.  She asked what the one thing was. I said to her you are alive! That’s just it you are alive.  I explained to her that she could spend her days crying that her arm was gone or she could except it and embrace it. Then I said again, “We are alive.  I have one leg now so what.  When the cut my leg off they didn’t cut my life off as well.”  We talked some more and when I left I could see a difference in the girl.  Her mom walked me out of the room and thanked me.  She said that her daughter has not even smiled or stopped crying since it was amputated.  I realized at that moment that my outlook on this situation was key in my healing processes.  I was not going to be able to achieve my goals without keeping my head up.

LESSON #3: EACH PERSONS PERCEPTION IS DIFFERENT    

This lesson is the one that I have learned more over the past 5 years.  When kids under the age of 3 see me they stop dead in their tracks.  When they are in grocery stores, restaurants or any public place they will be walking with their parents and will just stop and stare.  I usually smile so they are not so scared.  They then look at their legs then my leg and repeat the processes.  The parent realizes their kid is missing and then comes back and grabs them.  I noticed that the kid is curious more than anything.  They cannot processes how my legs don’t match and theirs do.  The kids ages 4-7 think my amputation is something great.  They processes the prosthetic as a robotic leg.  There is a 5 year old boy who lives with me on occasion.  He calls it the robotic leg and anytime he gets injured such as sliver or scrapes the first question he asks is do I get a robotic leg like Hope.  He is ok with having a robotic leg. Most recently attended a wedding where there were two kids.  One had to be between 6-8 and the other one was around 9-12.  The younger boy asked me if that was a robotic leg.  I told him it surely was.  He then asked me how I got a robotic leg.  I asked how he thought that I had got it.  His analogy was that I was in the Rocky Mountains and fell off the mountain and hit a tree then I hit a rock.  Causing my leg to break and then they put a robotic leg on me. I informed him that was correct.  I learned early on that the younger kids get really scared when I tell them I had surgery and doctor had to take it off.  I stay clear of letting them know it was a doctor because I do not want them to fear going to the doctors. After the younger kid had told me how I lost my leg his brother who was between 9-12 approached me and asked if it was a really a robotic leg.  I said no its not.  He then was curios on what happened.  As I explained the whole amputation thing to him he had this look of intrigue on his face.  He was asking question after question.  Unlike his younger brother he had this look of being scared or not sure what to expect.  Most of the younger kids are the same when it comes to explaining about my leg.  As for adults they are unpredictable.  Each person is different when I was back East traveling I would often get saluted and thanked for serving our country.  (I have never served in the military) I always explain that I did not serve our country.  This happened a lot but only on the East coast.  Mostly on the West Coast I get asked if it is Cancer again having to explain it is not.  I have had people console me and tell me you poor thing and then give me a look of sorrow.  Some adults do the stare then look away and then stare and look away.  Of course there is those individuals who are not afraid to ask and just ask me what happened.  As I witness these human interactions with me I realized that each person has their own perceptions and feelings in regards to this. That I have to adapt to each situation that arises because I have noticed that most people are afraid of the unknown.    

These are just a few of the lessons I have learned over the years there are many more which I may touch on later down the road.  Just knowing that my body can pretty much go through hell and still come out on top only if I allow it too.  Through keeping a positive mind and outlook in regards to being an amputee will continue to help me grow and become a better person because of it.  Lastly ever person on this earth views a situation different then another person.  I am not recommending everyone go out and chop off a leg or an arm, but without my amputation I wouldn’t have been able to experience all the wonderful interactions and amazing things that have come from it.  I am grateful that these lessons have been presented to me.  I am better person because of it. MUCH LOVE-HOPE

Lessons From a Father: Lesson 5

5 Lessons from a Father

By Hope A. Bevilhymer

Whose Laughing At You?

LESSON NUMBER 5:

Over the past several months I have been writing 5 Lessons I learned from my Father. It has been 2 years since his passing and I have compiled a list of things that he has taught me over the years.  With this being the last lesson of this series I thought I would recap on the past 4 Lessons he taught me.

LESSON 1: REMEMBER THE 5:  This lesson was about the people who are in your life. 
LESSON 2: THERE IS A STORM BREWING:  This lesson discussed how there are storms that arise within our lives.  It just depends on how we weather the storms.
LESSON 3: DON'T BE SO DUMB:  This lesson talked about how we should use our brains to accomplish things.  Work smarter, not harder.
LESSON 4: FAITH IN HUMANITY:  This lesson discussed how we should keep to our word.  If we say we are going to do something we follow through.
 ( You can read all these in my blog)

Which brings us to the last of these lessons. Whose Laughing at You?  The answer to that question should be yourself. Because if you can not laugh at yourself, then who can.  Through all the trials and tribulations that us as a family has endured, I have learned the most valuable lesson from my Father.  If you can not see the humor in things your doomed.   

My Father had two laughs.  One was something was funny and made him laugh and the other was he was up to no good.  As kids he would start water fights with us in the house.(My Mother did not approve) He would start WWF (WWE for those who are younger) Wrestling with all of us kids.  We purchased him a paint ball gun for Christmas one year and he decided to tag everything in the yard including my mothers lawn statues. It was a winter pink mess.  He would leave a cup of water on the top of the door sill leaving the door open slightly and when you opened it the water would fall on your head. He was constantly joking around and keeping things humorous in the house.  I think he learned it from his mother my Grandma Bevilhymer.  She was quite the prankster as well.  She would start food fights for no reason and go on the slip n slide with us.  I remember one time we were leaving my grandparents house.  I was fairly young and we said goodbye to our Grandpa.  We couldn't find my Grandma to say goodbye too.  So we decided to leave.  When we left we walked out on the front porch and proceeded to get hit with 5 gallons of water.  My Grandma was standing on the roof with a 5 gallon bucket of water waiting for us to leave.  She dumped it on most of us and said "Bye Love You."

I learned humor early on as a kid and I am quite the funny person if you are around me long enough. I think with this lesson I was able to cope a little better with all the things that have been thrown my way. I remember when I first had my leg amputated.  It was difficult for some people to handle.  They would act like I had a terminal illness and this was it.  From day one of the amputation I have done nothing but find the humor in it.  I made a choice to have it done so now I am stuck with whatever challenges it has in store for me. I mess with people all the time when it comes to my leg.  It was a couple weeks after my amputation and several of my friends were going to go Lagoon.  I was bored out of my skull and I wanted to go.  I still had stitches and the cast on.  I ended up going. We went on every ride and even did the 150ft sky drop.  We were getting ready to go and it was late.  They wanted to go on the Haunted Castle ride.  So after the ride was over one of my friends was going to get my wheelchair. ( I did not have my prosthetic at the time) I got off the ride and instead of waiting for my friend to get the wheelchair. I had a brilliant idea to hop to the wheelchair.  As I did this I caught my sandal on crack in the ground and tripped.  When I tripped I landed on my stump full force.  Every imaginable pain sensation was going through my body.  Lagoon did not know what to do with me so they got one of their stretcher things and took me to their medic area.  My stump just hurt and I had cut open the other leg by falling.  The medic from Lagoon came to me with a serious look on his face, he was carrying a clip board.  He started to write down some stuff and then he looked at me said what exactly happened.  I said in the most serious voice possible... I was riding the Samurai and my leg fell off.  Can you help me find it?  He had wrote down the whole thing.  We ended up telling him what happened, but it was a crappy situation that we were able to look back and laugh.

So as I wrap up this lesson thing.  Don't take life so serious...We only have one of these lives so have fun with it.  If you truly look back on some of the most happiest times of your life... What were you doing?  Probably laughing at one point or another.






** Stay tuned next weeks blog is called: Too FACE PLANT or FACE PALM that is the question...
www.hopeabevilhymer.com